Did you always want to be a comedian?
No.
That was a bit rude.
Sorry. No, I always wanted to be an author. But it was quicker to write jokes than books, so I started with that. These days I do both. And more than anything I wanted to be a football commentator, but these days I watch football and commentate on life, so again, it hasn’t worked out too badly.
But were you always the ‘funny guy’ at school? Did you do impressions of teachers and get your cock out in the class photograph?
No. The ‘funny guy’ was a bloke called Paul Purgas who was capable of making a teacher cry. I didn’t really fit either the stereotype of the bullies’ victim who becomes a joker to get revenge on the bad guys, or the stereotype of the motormouth who had to become a comic because he was too kerrr-azy to do any other job. But if anything I did veer towards being introverted, and I still do. If I was an extrovert, I don’t think I’d have any need to get on stage.
Now, this 24-hour thing. Where did you get the idea from?
I didn’t really ‘get it from anywhere’, it just came into my brain the way ideas do. I was keen to do something unusual because I felt that Edinburgh was becoming a rather unwholesome sales fair and the element of risk was going out of it. Also, I just thought it would be funny to do something really, really long.
What kind of stuff do you actually do in these shows? Surely you don’t tell jokes for 24 hours?
Not at all. The shows are mostly composed of semi- or completely improvised mayhem, punctuated by stretches when everyone rubs their eyes and looks confused. It is probably the ultimate example of something you have to ‘be there’ for, though. I’ve never had any success describing a marathon show to an interviewer without them going ‘mmm, right,’ followed by an embarrassing silence. I would refer anyone wanting an overview to Chortle’s review of the most recent show, in Edinburgh.
I have to ask (chuckle) how do you… you know… go to the toilet during these shows? Sorry, that must seem an odd question.
Actually no, it is probably the question I’ve been asked most often in my career. The answer is, sometimes I work it into the show, sometimes I create a distraction by getting someone like Adam Hills or Tim Key to cover for me, and sometimes I just go before it starts and hang on.
And the time you proposed at the end of a 24-hour show. Was that premeditated?
No, it honestly wasn’t, except in the sense that I dreamed it up during the show itself, and ran the idea past the audience while we were going along. I would definitely recommend proposing in an ostentatiously public way; it’s really fun getting a big round of applause. Plus, it means you don’t have to tell people you’re engaged as they already know.
What subjects do you generally talk about on stage?
Oh, all sorts.
Why are you so quiet on shows like Mock The Week?
I do try, but I don’t have any control over the editing, and the format tends to favour people with a slightly different ‘skill set’ from mine. I am attempting to become more assertive. If you want to experience me talking more on a show, I’d recommend listening to Fighting Talk on Radio 5 Live, or watching We Need Answers in Edinburgh, or (one day) on the telly.
Are you friends with Simon Amstell and Russell Howard? I love them so much.
Yes I am. Nice lads. We had Simon round for dinner not so long ago.
Lastly, what’s with the Welsh accent? It says here you were born in…
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
We’ll be back with more FAQs soon.
